Ever have those days where it feels like the universe is actually in tune with what’s going on inside your mind and somehow things sync up for the good? Like sometimes, I read my daily horoscope at the end of the day or the day after and go, “HUH, all of that was true. That all happened.” I know it’s not just me, but maybe you never feel this way. Regardless, today, I had one of those days.
I’ve been feeling pretty low. Not like end of the world low, not like my life is a disaster low, just disappointed about the current state of my body and how I’m taking care of myself.
I’m trying, and yet I’m not, so in reality I can only be angry, upset, blame myself. I don’t like being in that place. I am much more of a celebrate, pat myself on the back, toot my own horn kind of gal. And despite having a lot of things together (a wonderful relationship, great friends, finances, a financial plan to pay off debt, goals for a future family that align with my husband’s) I just feel BLEH about my weight and activity. And despite tracking at WW, I’m not doing MUCH else about it. Despite feeling SO BAD ASS last week after my elliptical workout, I haven’t been back to the gym. Ugh.
But the universe called to me today, and I read a couple of blog posts that really gave me a chance to think, some perspective and made me feel like, I’m not alone and I can improve. Callie at The Wannabe Athlete wrote a post, “Redefining Ourselves” in which she said:
“So no matter what you thought when you looked in the mirror today, no matter what you thought when you saw that last photo of you and no matter what the scale said this morning…
Your size does not define you.
Today I challenge you to think of three words that do define you.”
So I wrote the first three words that came to mind: Capable, Strong, Persistent. Not fat, slow, mess which is how I’ve been feeling on the surface. Without really having to think, I found the words that live deep inside and the words that I will use to propel me forward.
Then Cassie at Back to Her Roots wrote, “the scale and the closet,” in which she stated, “But living in this future world of “might” is cheating my present.” Brilliant. Sometimes I dwell too much on the fact that I DID lose 135 pounds and how embarrassed (cause I am) that I regained it (all but 20 pounds) back. I dwell so much that days, weeks, months end up slipping by during which I don’t do anything to change my current state and couldn’t tell you many special things that happened during that time. Not that every day has to be special, but they all have the potential to be, and I’m wasting it on 115 pounds.
I needed to hear from these ladies today. Thank you universe or blogosphere for sending these messages my way. I’m feeling a bit renewed for the day. I KNOW I am capable, strong and persistent. I will live every day focusing on those facts first, instead of the 115 pounds I regained. But I will also REALLY start to work towards working those pounds back off. Because back in Onderland, I’m unstoppable.